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Certainty Is Earned: The Day “Ihdinā” Answered Back

“If someone had offered me a system 18 years ago, I would have felt like Allah was handing me the heavens. He did — but not without struggle. Now it’s the community’s turn.”

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🪶 The State of Warning

This morning, I found myself in a familiar place — the position of the warner. I spoke into the group with the weight of truth behind me, echoing the call of Nūḥ (as):

“And I have come to you with clear evidence from your Lord. So send with me the Children of Israel.”
(Surah Nūḥ 71:5 — وَقَدْ جِئْتُكُم بِٱلۡبَيِّنَٰتِ مِن رَّبِّكُمْ فَأَرۡسِلُواْ مَعِيٓ بَنِىٓ إِسۡرَٰٓءِيلَ)

“I went actively looking for solutions. I found my answers — all of them.”
“Certainty is earned.”

But deeper still, I was feeling the ache of Yūnus (as) — the messenger who withdrew, overwhelmed not by disbelief, but by isolation. That was the state of my heart. A moment of spiritual exhaustion, standing between the desire to guide and the exhaustion of seeing so few truly listen.

“And indeed, Jonah was among the messengers. When he ran away to the laden ship…”
(Surah As-Saffat 37:139-140 — وَإِنَّ يُونُسَ لَمِنَ ٱلۡمُرۡسَلِينَ (139) إِذۡ أَبَقَ إِلَى ٱلۡفُلۡكِ ٱلۡمَشۡحُونِ)

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🔄 Returning to the Cycle

In that state, I did what I always do:
I turned back to my Qur’anic writing cycle — the practice I’ve committed to where I write and contemplate the Qur’an verse by verse, word by word, connecting it with abjad values, Divine Names, and personal insight.

Today, that cycle brought me to a powerful transition:
I was leaving the final words of one section and entering a new one.

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📖 The Verse:

اهدِنَا الصِّرَاطَ المُستَقِيمَ
“Guide us to the Straight Path.”
(Surah Al-Fātiḥah 1:6 — ٱهۡدِنَا ٱلصِّرَٰطَ ٱلۡمُستَقِيمَ)

Because my Qur’anic writing and contemplation practice only requires 15 minutes per daily cycle, I didn’t work through the entire verse this time. Instead, I paused — intentionally or divinely — at the first word:

اهدِنَا (Ihdinā) — “Guide us”
Abjad value: 61

And that’s where the Qur’an spoke back.

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🔍 Abjad 61 – A Gateway Opens

When I looked up the abjad value of Ihdinā (61), I received what felt like a direct response to the emotional and spiritual cry I had just lived:

Name	Abjad Value	Meaning
الودود (Al-Wadūd)	61	The Most Loving
الهادي (Al-Hādī)	31 (repeated twice = 61)	The Guide
الأول (Al-Awwal)	61	The First

These Names weren’t abstract — they were the reply.

I had asked: “Guide me.”
The answer was:
“I Am Love. I Am the Guide. I Was With You From the Start.”

I realized something I had never framed this way before:
I wasn’t just writing a name to become it — I was receiving it.

These Names were descending on me as affirmations, not just aspirations.

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📜 Surahs That Appeared

My process also led me through related surahs and verses, each of which confirmed and amplified the inner state I had just experienced:

🔹 Surah Yūnus (10:98)

“If only there had been a Qur’an with which the mountains would be removed and the earth torn apart, or the dead would speak…”
(Surah Yūnus 10:98 — لَوۡ كَانَ مَعَهُمۡ قُرۡءَانٌ يَتَدَبَّرُونَهُۥ وَلَوۡ تَأۡتِيهِمۡۖ ٱلۡمُنۡذِرُونَ)

The power of the Qur’an to reach hearts even when people are stubborn or isolated resonated deeply with my experience.

🔹 Surah al-Maʿūn (107:1-7)

“Have you seen the one who denies the Recompense? For that is the one who drives away the orphan and does not encourage the feeding of the poor.”
(Surah Al-Maʿūn 107:1-3 — أَرَأَيْتَ الَّذِي يُكَذِّبُ بِالدِّينِ (1) فَذَلِكَ الَّذِي يَدُعُّ الْيَتِيمَ (2) وَلَا يَحُضُّ عَلَىٰ طَعَامِ الْمِسْكِينِ (3))

This subtle but sharp warning reminded me to keep sincerity alive, not to become despondent or mechanical in my practice.

🔹 Surah aṣ-Ṣaff (61:6)

“And [mention] when Jesus, the son of Mary, said, ‘O children of Israel, indeed I am the messenger of Allah to you confirming what came before me of the Torah and bringing good tidings of a messenger to come after me, whose name is Ahmad.’”
(Surah aṣ-Ṣaff 61:6 — وَإِذْ قَالَ عِيسَى ابْنُ مَرْيَمَ يَا بَنِي إِسْرَائِيلَ إِنِّي رَسُولُ ٱللَّهِ إِلَيْكُم مُصَدِّقًا لِّمَا بَيْنَ يَدَيَّ مِنَ ٱلتَّوْرَىٰةِ وَمُبَشِّرًا بِرَسُولٍ يَأْتِي مِنۢ بَعْدِي ٱسْمُهُۥٓ أَحْمَدُ)

This mention of Ahmad, the spiritual dimension of the Prophet ﷺ, affirmed the reality of the inner Muhammadan path — the one I’ve been tracing silently through number, name, and breath.

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🧭 The Realization

I didn’t reach Ihdinā by accident.
And I didn’t pause there for no reason.
I asked — and the Qur’an answered.

Not with a voice.
Not with a scholar.
Not with a book.
But with Names, with light, with a whisper from within.

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💬 Reflections:

• “Ihdinā” is not a request — it is a doorway.

• Certainty is not found in theory — it’s lived, tested, and confirmed.

• When you're sincere, the Qur’an doesn’t just speak to you — it speaks through you.

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📚 Notes on Method (for seekers):

• This reflection arose from a structured practice of:

  • Qur’anic writing (word by word)

  • Reflecting on abjad values

  • Mapping those to Divine Names

  • Watching for alignment in verses and surahs received that day

• I don’t force meaning. I receive what appears — and I cross-check it against emotional state, inner struggle, and Qur’anic context.

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✨ Final Thought

“Most truths are not learned by books. They are revealed through striving — through Qur’an, and through the light of the Ahl al-Bayt (as).”

Today, Ihdinā didn’t just teach me something.
It reminded me that I am already walking the path.
And the path is still alive.